Don't Wake Me
by Dispatchgirl
Summary: A one shot of Rangers love for Steph in a songfic. Tissue warning. Character death


_I own nothing but the plot. The characters belong to Janet and the song belongs to Skillet. Reposting without lyrics. If you are not familiar with the song please look it up. Great song._

 **RPOV**

I am startled awake by a shrill alarm. I jerk my head up and stare at the offending monitor. A team of doctors and nurses come running in the room and work around me because they know I am not moving. They adjust her bed and begin CPR. Again. This whole scenario is becoming a routine. For the last week she has coded more times than I can count. Each time, everyone comes running and they go through this macabre dance to save the only person I love more than myself. Each time the doctors ask if I want to end this and sign a DNR (do not resuscitate) order. I have medical power of attorney sot up. it is ultimately my decision. The doctors have gotten used to me growling at them when they suggest I just let Babe go. "I can't!" I tell them, "if she dies, I have no reason to live."

This time I see the expression on the teams face. That along with the constant shriek of the alarms, tell me I do not have to worry about the order anymore. Babe is gone. The doctor looks at me and starts " Mr. Manoso I am so.."

"Don't." I say softly.

He looks at me like he is going to say more until I give him my **don't fuck with me** stare. He swallowed hard, nodded and turned around and walked out of the room. One of the nurses turns the monitors off and everyone quietly leaves. I close my eyes and lay my head on her belly, praying it will move. It doesn't. Down the hall I hear an uproar of male voices

"No!" Roared Tank

"Beautiffffuuuulllll" wails Lester.

I hear multiple crashes and curses but I can't muster the will to get up and control my men. They love her almost as much as I do. This little slip of a girl tamed a bunch of trained killers. She made us human again.

" I wish she hadn't. This hurts too much!" was my last thought as I drifted off to sleep.

My dream was so vivid. She was standing in front of me in her torn jeans, tank top and flannel shirt. That shit eating grin on her face. Her glorious riot of curls were framing her face and her brilliant blue eyes were shining like new money. She held her hand out to me. I reached toward her and she started shimmering and just before my fingers touched hers I jerked awake. "Fuck!" I muttered and looked up and saw all of my men standing there openly sobbing. Except Hector. He was on his knees on the opposite side of her bed. He had his head bowed and then he crossed himself. He looked up at her then he picked her hand up and took her fingertips and wiped at the teardrop tattoo under his eye. He then laid her hand back beside her, stood up and left the without saying a word.

Bobby, Lester and Tank had to physically remove me from Babe's room. I vaguely remember Cal telling the staff that any and all damage caused in the waiting room by the guys would be taken care of. When the guys got me outside I came to myself and drew back and punched the door of the SUV. The crunching of the bones in my hand was satisfying. I deserved the pain. I killed Babe. And our child. Her pregnancy was a happy accident. Her death a direct result of the pregnancy. If I had kept my dick in my pants, I would still have my Babe.

We get to Haywood and the guys escort me to the infirmary. Bobby sedates me to tend my broken hand. I hear Les and Tank discussing me. A tear escapes and rolls down my face as the sedative takes effect. I smell Stephanie's scent, cherry blossoms and peaches, and I feel her lips kiss the trail my tear took. "I am ok Ric." She said. "I love you and will watch over you. It's not your fault. I should have listened when the doctors told me my blood pressure was high. I should have took better care of myself. I am sorry. Me and CJ will be waiting for you. We will be with you always." I feel tears falling down my face. When we found out she was pregnant, she teased me and said we would call him CJ for Carlos Jr. She laughed and said we may name him after me but he would never eat twigs and bark. She never knew how true her prediction would be. Or maybe she did.

We were both so excited about the baby. I promised her this time, I would be a hands on father. That I would be with her the whole time. I wanted to be a father. God was giving me a second chance. My life was perfect.

The funeral is a huge affair. Seems like all of Trenton is here. My Babe touched a lot of lives. I feel a shift in the gentle breeze that is blowing and smell cherry blossoms and peaches. I know Babe is here. I look around and all my guys look up at the same time as the breeze moves around the area. Cal touches his forehead and I hear him whisper "Angel". Hector rubs the tattoo under his eye. Lester, Bobby and Tank take deep breaths, close their eyes and smile soft smiles. I realize I am not alone in my grief. My men are missing her as much as I am.

After the funeral, I went to my apartment and noticed how empty it felt. I walked to the bedroom and just stared at my empty bed. I laid down and pulled her pillow to my chest, hugged it and drifted off to sleep. I am so glad I told Ella not to change my sheets. Stephs scent is clinging to her pillow and I feel her lay on the bed beside me. I know it's a dream but it feels so real. I feel her touch my face and tears again slip from my eyes. I miss her so much. __

Over time I find myself not wanting to get out of bed. I don't give a damn about my business, my friends or my life. When Steph died, so did I. I don't know how to handle this empty feeling. I sleep more and more. She comes to me. It's almost like she is here. I want her back so bad.

Tank, Bobby and Less all try to bring me out of my depression, but it's useless. I don't want to get better. I know Babe is disappointed that I don't want to go on without her. She tells me in my dreams that I need to move on. That she and our son will always be waiting. Lately when she come to me she just rolls her eyes and tells me if I am going to join her then do it.

Tonight I lay down and know something is different. I sleep almost constantly now. Bobby tried to get me help but I don't want it. All I want is to join Babe and CJ. I want us to be together as a family. As I drift off I see her and our son. This feels different. Tonight, when I reach out I can feel our son's weight in my arms. That has never happened before. Usually I can't touch them. Steph looked at me with a serious expression, sighs and says "Ric, this is your last chance. Please go back and live for both of us. If you don't wake up now, you never will again." I smile at her and cup her cheek. "I can't. I love you both too much. I don't want to be alone anymore." She shook her head, smiled and said "I love you too."

Tank and Less entered Rangers apartment and knew immediately he was gone. They stepped into his bedroom and saw him curled around a pillow with a smile on his face. They both knew now, he wasn't gonna wake up. They heard a giggle and then a baby coo. Then a shimmering image appeared before them. Carlos had one arm around Stephanie and a curly headed infant nestled in the other arm. Both of them smiled at each other and looked over to Tank and Les. Steph gave them a little finger wave and then her and Carlos faded into the dark.

 _I hope you guys will not be too mad about this. I think this is the type of love they have. They are two halves of a whole._


End file.
